Tools To Give Your Children ~ Part 1
Yellow is the color in the spectrum that equates to wisdom. Hence, this blog will be written in yellow, as the mind absorbs that which is on yellow paper more readily, or using this color in the spectrum.
As a child, I was what I came to learn, "born awake" - all children are, but most are taught by societal conditioning through parents, teachers, all others to 'forget' this Divine part of ourselves, our psychic connection to the creative Source, stifle the intuitive wisdom that guides us in decisions and away from dangerous situations or people and to not listen to an inner voice or have 'invisible friends' - chalking the latter up to childhood folly.
Remembering more fully the memories I had as a child, I stayed in tune with that part of myself and it was the times I strayed from it I made decisions that did not result in an outcome for my highest good and brought about much suffering. Bullied as a child for being 'different, smaller than the rest' and ridiculed even by family members, I began the long road of making fun of myself to make others laugh, for that was the only way to get positive attention, which I became subconsciously programmed to believe was 'acceptance' from others, including my parents.
Any time I felt good about myself as a child or young teenager, my parents said I "had a big head" or when asking them if I was pretty, their consistent reply was in an indifferent voice, "ah, you're run of the mill, nothing special."
Armed with this set of factors creating what there was no term for then, but now the term is called, LOW SELF ESTEEM, I made choices from the sub-conscious belief of unworthiness and not deserving success or happiness.
When I became a mother, I decided then and there, from that wee spark of wakefulness and that almost microscopic thread connecting me to my sub-conscious higher self that I would raise my child to feel good about herself and know she was a miracle, an empowered being capable of being or doing anything she set her mind to and wanted. That decision lead me to the tools I needed myself to live this way and feel this way about myself, because words do not teach as much as living by example teaches. In other words, I had to become what I wished for my daughter. This conscious decision lead my sub-conscious to begin attracting the tools for a life of empowerment and oneness with my highest inner self, the ability to listen to my inner voice, how to go about that and trusting my intuition to guide me to make decisions in my best interest. I knew I needed to give my daughters the tools I wasn't given as a child and to basically give her the messages opposite of what my parents gave me, for I was well aware of the results from the messages I acted out on given me by my parents. (Starting with not blaming them but knowing that I incarnated to parents who gave the gift of teaching "how not to teach" rather than "how TO teach") Those are entirely two different gifts which both serve two different purposes.
TOOLS: learning the subconscious mind is at its most receptive between the worlds of wakefulness and sleep, I would go into my daughters room after they were put to bed and before they would be awakened in the morning and state in a soft voice: "you are a perfect and powerful soul in a human body" ~ "you are connected to the Source of All there is and are protected and safe in this world" ~ "you can be and do anything you set your mind to" ~ "your soft voice within you will always guide you to make the best decision"
MORE TOOLS: Being a musician since a young girl, I came to learn the power of healing vowels and frequencies. Initially I was lead to the ashram of Swami Muktananda and learned Sanskrit chants. I was 'lead to' a book in the library (in the old days before Amazon and the internet) on Mantras and studied the essential wisdom of powerful combinations of ancient Sanskrit. I began playing these mantras with my guitar every day and at night when my daughters were falling asleep. My eldest daughter, now sings to her daughters what was her favorite chant I sang to her as a child.
SPIRITUAL TOOLS: When my first daughter was young, as many children, she loved to ask questions and many times just chatter to hear herself talk. I didn't deem this a bad thing, but I did have a practice each day at sunset that it was "quiet time" and a time to "tune in with stillness" - not easy for a child to do, but also not easy for adults to do!!! I instinctively knew she needed this tool to tune in with nature (what I called the powerful time between the worlds of day and night). Through this practice, it taught her to tune in with nature and subconsciously, she would tune in with the movement of Creation, which is the changing from day to night, the movement of the earth within the Cosmos. We started at just two minutes, worked up to five minutes and worked up to fifteen minutes so that it was a pleasant experience and not something she couldn't handle being a rambunctious child. When administering such a practice, one must take into consideration the nature of the child, they are all different, and the point is to make it fun so they enjoy it and not resist it. Enjoying something brings it into the sub-conscious, resisting does the opposite.
CHANGING THE FAIRY TALE STORY BOOKS: Children love to be read those fairy tales. Using my imagination and will to empower, I'd change the story as I read it. Being the mother of daughters, I would never let the story be the female in distress waiting for the knight or prince to rescue her and her 'happily ever after' depended on her need for a man to save her. I also did not portray 'the witch' to be an evil intentioned and ugly old woman in the woods, but a wise woman of power who lived in nature and helped people find their way or assist them on their path, or administer ease through use of herbal infusions that I'd just invent using my intuition when reading.
WHEN BEING A SINGLE MOM, HOW TO DEAL WITH CONSEQUENCES OF A CHILD'S NAUGHTY CHOICES: Many times as a single mom, my eldest of the two daughters was the most firey and strong willed, and would behave in a manner that needed 'correcting'. Many times I would be at a loss for how to do this without breaking her spirit. I would never punish her or spank her out of anger. If she angered me (which is really pretty natural with us being human) I would sit a moment and breath and call in the Divine, and utter silently yet fervently, "Heavenly Father, please come through me RIGHT NOW to address this issue for the highest good, I don't know how to do this and am an open channel IN THIS INSTANT to receive direction on how to handle this child so she learns the necessary lesson for her highest good"
I did this MANY TIMES throughout my days of single mothering. Those moments I wished I had a partner/husband/earthly father to partner up with and make those decisions, feeling utterly alone for a few moments, I would then say the above and felt it with all my heart. I came to feel that I was raising the girls with the Heavenly father as the earthly ones abandoned us. I am not a religious person thinking of an old man with a beard who directed the workings of earth from a cloud in the sky, but called in the Divine Masculine to work with me, The Divine Feminine to balance the polarities, the yin/yang and "assist me" and work "through me". It ALWAYS DID and would assist me with the next tool I am about to share.
WHEN THE CHILD OF A SINGLE MOTHER CRIES FOR THE EARTHLY FATHER THAT NEVER SHOWED UP: I was married to my first daughters dad, but he chose drugs over us, and for our well being, I had to leave that marriage when my daughter was 18 months old. As he sold off and hocked everything, I left walking, holding the baby, a guitar and a suitcase with no where to really go. That said, over the years both my daughters had bouts of crying on their birthdays and other days stating, "why doesn't my daddy want to know me?" This of course broke my heart in two, hearing not only their distress, but knowing they were forming opinions and beliefs of themselves as not being worthy of having a dad and that something was wrong with THEM as to why their fathers did not choose to be in their lives. Again, I called forth Divine wisdom and intentionally opened myself as a conduit "in this moment" to channel the best response for their highest good. The response came as follows: "Your earthly father is a human, and as a human, choices that are mistakes can be made. Your earthly father is under the influence of making such a mistaken choice. But this choice gives us the gift of knowing our Heavenly Father, who is ALWAYS with us and who guides us to make the best choices, teaches us that we are powerful and beautiful children. Although we cannot SEE this Heavenly Father, we can FEEL Him and know He will never leave us and we can always call on Him to guide us." Sometimes I would continue, "If your earthly father knew you, he would want to be here with you, but his life choices as a human father have mistakenly lead him away from us" (I always said "us" not "you" so the child would not take it all upon herself in her psyche). I have had to say this on many birthdays and other occasions and had to myself trust that this explanation I received as an intentional open conduit, was for their highest good to assist with pending abandonment/daddy issues.
I will close for now on the tools I have given my daughters so this blog entry isn't too long. For the tools I give my grandchildren, I will write another blog, for they have a whole other set of life circumstances that include their parents getting divorces and being negatively programmed by fathers that are in their lives. I must say that the tools/lessons/examples I've had to teach have been even more complex than what I have had to deal with in my mothering years of two young daughters. There are more tools I have utilized, and after being asked about this by my Soul Sisters, I will create a Part 2 as memory of these tools are surfacing, and more will be coming in to share with you. Thank you to all my Soul Sisters who have asked about this, giving me the opportunity to share vital wisdom that channeled through me as a conduit for Divine Wisdom.
I do want to add one other important tool:
HEALTHY LIFESTYLE: I discovered organic, natural foods in 1978 when my youngest was 2. Back then, natural foods were not packaged or in abundance and took more work to prepare and even then were a more expensive food source than commercially manufactured 'crap' that I inherently knew was not 'nourishing food'. I saw how children were mesmerized by packaging and commercials on TV to make them want that stuff. Hence, we didn't watch TV (only Sesame Street & Mr. Rogers) and I worked and shopped exclusively at a small natural foods co-op in Tempe Arizona to get "food at cost" and develop a pallet in the child to like naturally flavored foods instead of becoming addicted to artificial flavors and sugar. THIS IS KEY to start them out young.
I knew the first 7 years of life were the key years 'for programming' and after that, one would have to live with what they have put in to that child's psyche during those crucial years.
