Monday, August 3, 2015


To Skate or NOT to Skate
Or, to do anything at all or nothing at all, for however long one can get away with it.

Why do today what you can put off until the last possible moment?

Is committing to some goal and working at it one step at a time a better feeling than thinking about it, not doing it at all, putting it off??....the end of the day still comes around. 

Filing an extension on taxes that are really simple and not complicated, just because it wasn't 'gotten around to' and then waiting until two days before the extension runs out to get the money's worth out of said ultimate procrastination mindset.

Buying all the best gear, signing up for lessons, courses, workshops, seminars....taking those lessons, courses, etc.....and then just stopping the whole process....over & over & over.

I don't feel the need to "have to admit to doing all the above" - not spilling my guts here to feel better about myself.  HOWEVER....a year has come and gone.  At the years' beginning, I had so much umph, so much drive, such amazing goals/dreams and chutzpah for skating/photography/recording music/revising my book/upgrading my website....(different years, different projects, but it's all the same, really) - and the Art of Procrastination seemed to have gotten really sharpened, utilizing events in my life to give me great excuses to lose momentum with all the above inspired activities.

The year passed.  I could have ....  oops...not gonna do the woullda/couldda/shudda thing.... because that's part of the Art of Procrastination....the reprimanding or beating up of oneself for the practice and perfecting of procrastination.

No one could start out on any project with more excitement and energy than me.  I know this to be a fact.  I'm like the fastest racehorse out of the gate, the one the teacher/coach/etc. sees to have 'great promise' - and I run the fastest on the track.  In the homestretch, the racehorse (me) just stops when she was clearly in position for 'the win' (the win not meaning to beat anyone else, but to simply continue to the finish, or the next step) - JUST STOPPED.

There is momentum in JUST STOPPING.  How ironic is that?????  What a helluva thing to have momentum stopping.  Quitting?  I've never called it quitting, because I haven't considered myself quitting any of these activities.  I did finish the book.  I did finish writing/producing/recording the CD - and it is beautiful.  I got them all onto the website.  I took a course in promoting all of it.  That's when I stopped.  The marketing of the arts felt like the same old thing.  I did embrace marketing of it initially, but lost interest in taking it to the next level, as it seemed to be 'a formula' that 'everyone had to do in order to be a success' - so I chose to put down that drive to be a "success".  Why?  What IS success anyway?

Had I skated as much as I could this past year, I would have learned some fun stuff....I love my ladies at the Coffee Club - they are so inspiring.  I've watched a few 'beginners' who started out sort of like me and are now doing really cool stuff and I can still barely go from one direction to the other or do crossovers in reverse.  I still feel like a scared dork on the ice to be perfectly honest.

OK, this blog is getting pretty long.  I just wanted to share with you something that probably a lot of people are living with and not sharing with everyone.  After all, there's so many good procrastination jokes that it makes it less painful and actually funny to relate to it.  But honestly, I'm actually sick of it right now.  I refuse, however, to pay money on a course to beat procrastination, I have to let it 'run it's course - accept this - and it will transform more quickly.  Life was much more fun when I had consistent UMPH and got that album FINISHED, sat with my book & got it revised in two nights.  Kept at it.  Enjoyed the momentum.

OK, so this may seem like a pointless post, but it was inspired by reading my figure skating friend who HAS stuck with it and can now do spins, now do those fancy named maneuvers that I've spent the year dreaming about instead of working on on the actual ice.  So thank you, Christine, for inspiring me in some way....just by your being-ness, your grace, your consistence and perseverance.  You are a beautiful skater with an even more beautiful spirit!