Learning to Skate Is A Spiritual Experience of Expansion

"Putting on a pair of skates and putting oneself on the ice will bring out any structural imbalance that remained hidden in everyday life of just walking around."  Is what a coach to the Olympians told me at the Salt Lake City rink.  She restored my resolve, which quite honestly was fading somewhat.

I've been on the ice since perhaps last May, on custom made Harlick Skates, the best of the best.  My right skate insisted on resisting to glide and I always felt like I would fall, and sometimes did, especially at my attempts at learning to skate backwards.

The frustration in this would have made anyone, including me, want to just give up.  There were days I would just cry on the ice because my dream of skating seemed to be sabotaged with this resistance that seemed out of my control to overrun with my sheer will.  Every skate session turned into a process of overcoming frustration with only brief moments of the joy I was seeking in this pursuit.  If I didn't have the world's most beautiful skates, I probably would have shelved this dream and just continued writing, playing my violin and my other creative pursuits.

But I don't give up.  Every time I wanted to just get off the ice, I'd make myself go back on with an even stronger resolve to not let anything stop me.  I would look at this process as a spiritual expansion, because it WAS.  To NOT GIVE UP ON ONE'S DREAMS DESPITE THE OBSTACLES.

I had blade adjustments several times, an assortment of coaches' advice and finally, the pro at Skatetown Ice Arena told me, after watching me skate that I have an ankle pronation and a sports podiatrist could address this with orthotics.  I promptly made an appointment and the orthotics are being made.
  
Meanwhile, as timing is perfect in all things whether or not it is what we think we want, not skating with my Coffee Club Goddesses weekly, I have been in the studio with my "Dream Team" - recording Mantra Music and revising the website, upgrading it to be a work of art showcasing all the aspects of my creativity.  I also had time to revise my first book, THE CHE DIARIES, and very soon the second edition will be available through Amazon.  This focused time in the studio has caught the momentum, free from interruption from my skating days to get my music promoted and is now #1 on the charts of Spiritual music in Nevada City, #4 globally and #5 Nationally on a site called ReverbNation.  The commentary on my music from those that have heard it throughout the world is amazing, and I invite you all to go see what I've been doing during my time off the ice.

I've also acquired a Nano, wireless headset and armband to hold the little technical device and loaded onto it all my David Garrett music that I have been listening to for months doing amazing figure skating routines to in my head.  Skating without music is like learning to dance without music - just can't be done joyfully and with the flow that music provides.

So I am READY for the day those orthotics go into my skates to get back out on the ice and FEEL THE GLIDE.  I am skating to not only pursue my own childhood dream, but to share this experience to uplift and inspire those who have raised children and put their dreams aside to do it, or even forgotten what those dreams are.  And one day, some day, I will be able to do a spin, a jump and one of those routines that are in my head, I will actually do on the ice!

OFF ICE, ON LINE

So it seems I was right in the middle of an enthusiastic pursuit of the childhood figure skating dream, writing on the blog about the spiritual and physical expansion of this experience when POW!!!!!!  I dropped out.  In reality, I didn't drop out, but prioritized those dreams into work-able order.

My second revision of "THE CHE DIARIES" was in process when I began the skating pursuit.  Coupled with that pesky resistant right skate, then the skating collision, there was a shift in my resonant field, and I had to focus on the work that it takes to get this book launched.  I miss skating, and tomorrow in fact I go in for a final skate adjustment, but these past weeks, my web-master, co-creative partner and I have scheduled studio time to "GET 'ER DONE!"  And getting 'er done is what we are doing....in fact this moment as I write this, beside me sits Sir Wizard working feverishly on the new website exclusively for the book, linking it to my existing website as his lovely wife, Shirl Spencer puts the images on and organizes the NEW blog that will also be called "THE CHE DIARIES"....Robbi is working like a madman and I'm detecting steam coming out of his eyeballs.

I cannot imagine pushing as many buttons as he does in the timing in which he pushes them, each push correlating to a specific task that if I just follow for one moment, my head spins.  I am in heaven here in the studio as when I'm on the ice, except I don't fall, collide with ice dancers or bust my ass. It also requires no padding for the various body parts that need protecting as I pursue the skating dream.

So, SHORTLY, folks, friends, family and fans, you will receive the link to the place on Amazon where you can order the beautiful new edition of the upgraded, sharpened up and amazing book that was my actual experience which expanded my spirit, my life, my vision...which has given me the umph to pursue not one, but ALL my dreams.  It has opened me up to the purpose of my life, and Robbi & Shirl Spencer here at SE Studios, with all their knowledge, love for and belief in me, are making every dream I have into a tangible form that I can share with you all.

Soon I will link you all up with the many productions that are created by this dynamic duo and my best friends and family, Robbi & Shirl Spencer, two very talented, kind and loving angels in my life.  So stay tuned!!!!

ICE CRASH

I DIDN'T SEE IT COMING!

The ice was buttery smooth beautiful.  Almost no one was at the rink with all the kids back at school, so it was wonderfully serene.  Only the Coffee Club Goddesses were present and few others mulling about.  I stepped on the ice full of sweet anticipation of feeling the new adjustments made to my skate by Phil Kuhn, maker of my glorious skates and president of Harlick Skates.  Ahhhh, the sweetness of anticipation!!!!

So on the ice I go, and my experience was met with the sweetness equal to that of my anticipation.  No resistance in that formerly pesky skate, I was able to feel the wonderful feeling of GLIDING with both feet!

All the women are wonderful, and every time I attend, my heart is refreshed by the friendships and encouraging support of each and every one of these amazing ladies.  I began working on what I'd formerly written in my blog of that "AH-HA" moment of committing to the edge by the way I held my body, taught to me by Jane Moody some sessions ago.  I just didn't have that 'feel' as I'd experienced during my AH-HA moment, but I was working it.

Karen, a beautiful 70 year old ice dancer, who's hair is always perfect, her make up always meticulously applied to bring out the elegance that she embodies,   took at least 20-30 minutes of her own skate time to show me details on how to execute what she saw me trying to do on my own.  I was so grateful, as I always am, when someone takes their time on the ice to show me something, give me a tip, etc.

So there I am, skating on one of the four huge painted circles beneath the ice, practicing this foundational skating move Karen had just shown me.

I didn't see it coming, neither did she.  Karen was skating backwards, ready to execute an ice dance move, so she was coming fast with plenty of power at a curve that prevented her from seeing me.  I saw it a a split second before the impact of our collision and there was nothing I could do to get out of the way.  We hit hard, I slid after we hit, both of us down.  I wasn't hurt, but to my horror, she lay curled up, unmoving, her back to me, her ice halo flying off her head.  Of course when anyone falls, all the others call, "are you alright?"  But their calls were met with silence from Karen and she remained unmoving, lying on the ice.  She impacted her shoulder hard, and all the women came skating over.  One lady helped me up, and several gathered around Karen.  Jayne, the coach worked with her, telling her not to move, don't try to get up and applied all her professionalism and experience to the situation.  I held Karen's ice halo, which sailed my way in the collision, and I also remained down on the ice.

Emotion and horror gripped me and I lost it, seeing her crumpled unresponsive body.  No thoughts flooded, such as guilt or any of those self-centered wonderments, only horror had me gripped fully in its embrace.  Gently, after some time, Jayne and some others assisted Karen to get up safely and get her off the ice.  Haruni held onto me and escorted me off the ice, as I was clearly having enough of a melt down to melt the ice!

The women were reassuring me that this happens, accidents happen, collisions happen, it's no one's fault, "It was not your fault, Ave," they reassured me.  They were working with Karen to assess the damage to her shoulder, which evidently was rather extreme.  "And tomorrow's my birthday!" she exclaimed.  "And now I'm going to miss my lesson with Chris in 15 minutes!"  But even Karen, in her pain reassured me it wasn't my fault.  Luckily, I had some ibupropen and offered it, which she took immediately.  I felt a molecule of relief that I could assist in some way, by having this medication.  

One of our very beautiful and graceful young women came up to me when I was emoting heavily and she asked if we would like to pray.  She lead a beautiful prayer to our Lord Jesus which brought immediate peace upon the circle as clearly, she is a being of light.  With her spirit and focus and the most beautiful prayer spoken with such depth, she was able to bring the healing power of the Creator that loves us all and knows all our needs even when we don't.  It was a very powerful and sacred time of all of us coming together within the light of Christ and the love we all have for each other.

Karen left after a little while, saying she was ok to drive home as she is right handed and the damage was to the left shoulder.  It was difficult to get back on the ice as I clearly had an immediate case of PTSD, but I made myself get back out there, and in honor of Karen, I made myself practice the precise exercise I was doing when the impact occurred. 

I fell two other times today, sustaining no injuries for which I am well padded and extremely grateful.  There were very few of us on the ice today and this remained the case.

Before going home, I decided to go to eat a full and grounding meal as I knew I needed something more than my usual diet of nutrition packed smoothies (due to my current jaw issue, chewing food is too painful)....I am grateful for the nutritional supplements one can put into a smoothie!

I just received a call from Karen, and indeed the bone that caps the shoulder is cracked!!!  She asked if I got hurt in the impact and we spoke some time of ice dancing, using edges, the collision, our instructors and our group.  It was a beautiful conversation.  Tomorrow this Goddess will be 71 and she is the most beautiful ice dancer, which btw, ice dancing incorporates difficulty levels that exceed the fancy jumps and spins the public is used to seeing figure skaters execute.  Karen will call me Tuesday after she sees the orthopedic specialist to let me know if surgical repair is required, meanwhile, pain medication is definitely in order.

This is my new family, my beautiful, graceful, thoughtful amazing group of women who care for each other and have a camaraderie I have truly never known on this level.  I am graced by God to have come into this circle.  In honor of Phil and these women, I am DETERMINED to win a medal in some competition, somewhere, some time, and when I'm on that podium, I will dedicate it to each of these glorious beings who have brought a new light into my life, a new upliftment to my spirit.  When I am in their company, I feel like I am truly home, where I belong.  

Thank you, my Coffee Club Goddesses and Phil & Ginger Kuhn, each of you are my hero.  

MY NEW COMMITMENT

The Outer Edge
Yesterday's skate was a bigger AH-HA than the one before, and it is my intention for each AH-HA to be greater than the last.  Starting to just override any balance/falling fear issues is liberating me and I'm  simply having more fun.  I'm pushing myself with each session.

I dared to crossover with the left over right.  This is similar to picking up a pen and writing with your non dominant hand and come up with something more than the scribble of a pre-schooler.  I dared myself to put that foot over the other one.  The session was just more fun, the mood of everyone more jovial than usual, or maybe it was just mehaving more fun and less fear.....FINALLY.

The 'other' Jane who coaches, gave me the best tip - on how to turn my body into the circle, thereby "committing to the outer edge" - when I tried this with my crossover, I FELT THE COMMITMENT, I FELT the outer edge of that skate as never before.....I leaned INTO it as never before and voile` - I didn't fall over!!!!!!  This was a glorious moment for me, and despite the Zamboni firing up it's monstrous noise signifying everyone off the ice immediately, I just had to experience this a couple of more times.

I am usually the last one off the ice anyway, but this time, I was exhilarated more than ever upon my exit.  This time also, my little granddaughter, Savannah was with me, all bundled up with blanket, my pink fluffy socks and a sack full of treats.  She ate the whole time and made friends with Brooklynn, a sweet girl of 11 who skates, her mom Jennifer is a hoot and quite an impressive skater.

For one who has decided to make no commitments to any other human, it is lovely to make a commitment to the outside edge of my beautiful black Harlick skates, which I fall more deeply in love with every time I put them onto my bare feet.  

When asked if I will start my granddaughter skating, I say, "No, this sport is for me!  If they want to skate, their mother can take them."  

MY SKATING AH-HA FINALLY HAPPENED!!!!

Oh the deliciousness of the ice!  Putting my bare feet into those resplendent black Harlicks is the beginning of the icegasm.  Yesterday, I decided en route to the rink that I was going to have an "Ah-Ha" breakthrough, damnit!!!  And so I did!

The freestyle sessions had few people and much ice space.  Ooooooh, I like this!  I did a late afternoon session which is not usual for me, two sessions actually, because once I get down there and all padded up, one session is simply not enough.

I did the infamous crossover - which to any skater may sound quite elementary, and to any non-skater it's no big deal when they're used to only watching the Olympians do impossibly daring feats with the ease of eating pudding (vanilla with raspberries on top)   But to me-this is huge.  I've been practicing this for a long time, and also standing still doing them without gliding, to feel the weight shift with ease from left to right foot, to feel the edges of the blades and most of all, to lose the fear that's been an almost constant companion.

Not only did I finally 'take the plunge' - and I don't mean falling, I mean lifting that foot while gliding and crossing over.....but I was able to keep the right foot crossed over the left and glide that way!!!!  I did it with ease, did it with the feel of confidence that was evading me for so long.  I just kept thinking of the Olympians, seeing Meryl and all the others--thinking "look what they do.....I can do this!

Skating backwards is trickier.  I'm practicing doing a partial swizzle and keeping that foot off the ice while continuing the reverse glide on the one foot.  It is when I skate backwards that I've had my falls, but thankfully, the ICE HALO paid for itself 100 times over when my head bounced off what felt like a pillow, not hard ice, and no pain ensued (that was a different session, not last night).

I listened all the way down to the rink to the Mantra Music Robbi & I are creating in the studio, which is ethereal, amazing, beautiful and soul lifting....one track is published, the other still has to have my violin track created and then the great mix, mastering and putting on the Sacred Grove Productions channel on You Tube.  We will be adding more of David Holeman's visionary artwork for the viewing pleasure of all.  The vibration of his amazing artwork resonates with this music.

I put this in because my sense is that listening to these tracks that were born originally from my inspiration playground, then created with my wizard-genius co-creative partner, Robbi Spencer - put my beingness in a place of ease, and that ease stayed with me on the ice.  Bestowing ease is one of the intentions of this musical gift I am sharing with the world.
  

SKATING INITIATIONS: I passed TWO!

The Chronicles of a Figure Skater UP & COMING!!!!

I am writing from a body with every muscle deliciously worked to the max from today's 3 hour skate, non stop except for one break to eat fried mozzarella sticks.

Diligently practicing the 'homework' my guru coach, Jayne gave me during my last lesson some time ago, progress has been made, and I didn't want to receive another lesson until I made some actual progress on all she gave me to work with.

INITIATION #1

I like to skate up in SLC when I've completed the healing sessions I travel up there to give.  I decided this last time to go to the Freestyle session (the one for serious skaters), I've done these sessions down in Roseville, but none so far in SLC.  WELL.......this is where those skaters you see in HUGE competitions, aka "the Olympics" - world competitions, nationals, etc. come to practice and receive coaching.  And the rink was full of them!!!!  I saw a young man in the best physical shape I've ever seen anyone ever.  His shirt had the Olympic logo on the shoulder with "Austria" atop the logo.  This wasn't one of those souvenir olympic shirts a spectator buys - this was a guy from the Austrian Olympic team.  He was ice dancing with a young lady and I was in awe at being on the same ice with them.  There were about five coaches out giving instructions to teenagers who are seriously determined to be champions.  I was the only one out there wearing an Ice Halo, I was the oldest (this group were all under 20, collagen plumped, rosy cheeked and accomplished skaters) and I was COMPLETELY INTIMIDATED!!!!!!!  It took all that was in me to not bolt out of the place.  It was the first time I felt like a dork in my ice halo.  Others wore padding, but only on their hips and it was hidden beneath cute little skirts, they were practicing triple axels and jumps with names I still don't know the scope of.

I hung in there and kept close to the wall and just practiced my T-stops (it may look easy, but it's quite a feat to do a smooth stop!) - they were safe enough - I didn't dare practice anything in reverse as my goal was to stay upright and stay out of everyone's way.  I once removed myself from the ice, exasperated, and texted my coach at home in a panic telling her where I was and how intimidated I felt.  I practiced my balancing skills and working that right foot imperfection out so my blade becomes silent and smooth (it still isn't).  I hung in there and lo and behold.....the sound of the Zamboni starting up to resurface the ice signifying the session's end was music to my ears.  I sat and re-laced my skates after adding a third bandaid to yet another toe on that pesky right foot.  One of the nice young skaters said, "you're staying for the next session?" - surprised at my stamina.  None of the others stayed.

The second session had far less people and was way more relaxed.  I was also more relaxed and felt rather triumphant in a humble way that I indeed survived that ordeal without mishap - a trial by fire on ice.  I passed.  Yay!  I made friends with a coach, Lisa after she played a few notes of the David Garrett piece I've been choreographing my skating routine to for several months now....she only played a few measures of it while she was looking for something else.  I heard that and I knew I'd not only be OK, but felt a warm glow embellish my being.  I skated over and talked with her, and told her about that piece being what I will skate to when I'm testing for a medal.  She applauded my determination and we talked music...turns out she played violin her whole life and then had to choose between violin and figure skating.  She chose figure skating and was glad of it.  She'd played violin since she was 3!!  She also told me I should come up to the Adult Nationals this fall and compete.  She also added with a little chuckle of relief after the first hectic session, "I was a little worried about you out there!"  She is indeed a kindred spirit.  I gave her my Bliss Ball card, the current key to my website.  This was my first initiation that I passed with I'd say, flying colors.  I felt gutsy, brave, and like I had indeed grown a set of balls any man would envy!  Lil ol' me out there all padded up with an ice halo, skating with the champions!

INITIATION #2:   Today in Roseville 

Two falls, no injuries.  I have been making progress going in reverse and picking up one foot after a swizzle.  Sound easy?  It is not.  I did get to finally test the knee pad and can write that review RED SWAN would like to get from me on their product.  I did my first graceful fall.  Knee first, then collapse down onto my left hip and enough of a slide to get a frosty arse.  The women applauded my graceful fall and I applauded that I was not only not hurt, but I succeeded in addressing my biggest fear:  FALLING.  After this 2 hour skate, I took a break while they resurfaced the ice and went out for a 45 minute freestyle session to the warnings from two ladies saying after a break, one can have accidents, so "do be careful".  Ice buttery smooth, henceforth warned and shifting those words to not put fear into me.  So there I am practicing that reverse skate with the foot up after a swizzle and down I go.  I can now write a review on the ICE HALO, as I landed right smack on the back of my head - the exact site of my first concussion my very first time on the ice months back.  Well......it was like landing on a pillow!!!!  The HALO bounced my head softly, saving me from the impact of the hard ice on my skull and I got up with no repercussions at all.  Now, it may be that my wrist guards also kicked into protective mode as I didn't go from upright to on my head - but as they worked so well also, there were no spots that sustained any injury in the least from kissing the ice with various body parts on the way down.

INITIATIONS PASSED WITH FLYING COLORS, I'd say!!!!  Now I must add that my entire body feels completely, deliciously WORKED.  Like running a marathon after being a couch potato with no training whatsoever.  But it feels amazing:  I love the soreness of muscles when they are coming alive, being sculpted into form and tone that will result in being a physical masterpiece.  I already feel like a masterpiece.......but this is only the beginning, folks!!!!  I'll go from swizzles to spins and from being grateful for not busting my butt to being grateful as I bow to accept that medal on the podium someplace, sometime.  The win, though, is second to the feeling I have in my imagination of me gliding and swirling on the ice, dancing to beautiful music and being a living art-form in my sexy black Harlick skates.

THE SKATING CHRONICLES

ANGER BEATS FEAR

Indeed, anger is more productive than fear and feels a hell of a lot better.  In this case getting angry AT fear got me some desired results with today's session on the ice.  There is SO MUCH to learn about what goes in to making it look easy and graceful and flowing like the pros.  Like when I paint holiday windows, I make it look easy because I've been doing it all my adult life and know how to do brush strokes like a dance.

Skating has highlighted these subtle issues of structural balance, as shared in previous posts, and I've been working with this a lot, and also having my coach from Heaven, Jayne Throckmorton, add to what I practice each time we have a lesson.  My stance emanates the stiffness of fear....fear of falling initially, and no doubt still in the mix.  But as with any technical art one immerses oneself into, it will bring up STUFF that runs on auto pilot in your consciousness that you can either work through or hang up whatever is bringing it up (in this case skates) and do something else.  I am choosing to perfect this thing.  This is where having OCD is a blessing, because like practicing violin....doing repetitive exercises is required to perfect ones own music, be it skating or with an instrument. It brings me pleasure to practice something over and over and over, and when I can't get it, a fierce determination is ignited.  This determination is a pleasurable force to work with.  A delicious fire!

So here I am practicing my T-stops.  I realize after many repetitions that I'm leaning wrong, like a scardy cat-I'm leaning forward like I'm afraid of it....I feel how 'off' my stance is, the feeling behind the way I approach it is 'timid'.  Then, I see a 12 year old do a perfect stop and how she leans back and it looks casual and easy and she glides to a beautiful, graceful halt.  THAT'S IT!!!!  Leaning back into it with ease.  My body wants to continue doing the timid stance and that simply will NOT achieve good results!!   I get PISSED at this ridiculous repetition of  scardy-cat, timid posturing and think "F*** FEAR - I'M DOING THIS!"

So I lean back.....it takes stepping up to some plate of ease....and yes, I am DARING to HAVE EASE and lean back into it and lo & behold - there's the glide!!!!  IT WORKS!!!!! I didn't fall!!!!   It just FELT AWESOME!

Moral to the story:  (oh, does there have to be one?)  But wait, there just is one naturally......Have you had ENOUGH of FEAR running some part of some show in your life, even if it is well disguised? Well, in the case of skating when fear was keeping me from progressing and FEELING relaxed in my stance, it was endangering me more than if I relaxed....it took seeing someone do it easily when I had been dissecting my issues with this, with a FIRM determination to get this....like the hundredth monkey thing - I did it enough times, feeling wobbly, unsure, insecure, unsteady---and all this unsteadiness had me unable to put my feet in the EXACT correct position, put my posture in the exact right position, put my weight and balance in the exact correct position to execute these moves.

I didn't get pissed at mySELF, I got pissed at the fear factor that was so settled into my cellular memory, it was all puffed up and like a big wall in front of me....but my DETERMINATION sparked ANGER at the fear and empowered me to get passed it and have a breakthrough.

I am so excited to get back on the ice and see where I can take this since my experience today.  Today's "Freestyle" session had many more girls than usual practicing major group routines for an upcoming show.  I COULD have been intimidated, but was not.  I did elect, however, to not attempt practicing my backward direction skate lesson, as there were too many girls doing jumps and axels and all that fancy stuff really fast going in every direction.  I had plenty to work on though and happily did so.  I've never had so much fun getting ANGRY, and it served a great purpose breaking through fear. 

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FIGURE SKATING 101

Balance ~ Patience ~ Acceptance

What initially seemed like a blade needing adjusting due to a resistance on the right skate and the blade's tip scraping on the ice, not gliding with the ease as the left skate did, I have learned is a subtle tilt in the way I hold my body when I simply stand and walk.  Without figure skating, I would never have learned this about my structural alignment or the way "I hold myself".

The adjustment to the blade indeed lessened this 'resistance' - but my skating lesson yesterday uncovered this nuance in my structural stance.  Talk about fine tuning!! And the interesting observation I made from my emotional indicator, was that in the uncovering of this, I felt my very first pangs of an assortment of emotions that included sadness, despair and hopelessness.  The usual joy I feel the moment I get on that ice was absent for the first time since taking this dream on into reality.  These emotions indicated I was indeed "on to something deep."

I am of course not only open, but willing and happy to learn whatever my most trusted instructor/coach depicts as necessary, and she was really into getting 'to the bottom' of what this right skate was telling us about an almost undetectable nuance of my structural balance.

Sparing the details, the point of this story I am sharing is about fine tuning one's connection with every aspect of themselves, physically, mentally, emotionally AND structurally!  Structural falls into the physical category, but my sense is that the structural alignment or misalignment could be a result of some long held emotion or belief that manifested in the way one holds oneself and moves through the world.  BALANCE is a very precise measurement of aspects of ourselves, that unless we focus our INTENT to fine tune our inner-most aspects, may never be perfected.

Like playing the violin - there are so many details of posturing and the interconnectedness of our right and left hands and other muscle groups resulting in a perfected sound and intonation, figure skating has the same elements starting with the feet and up to encompass our entire structure- the most undetectable nuances of our being and balance are beneath the beacon of observation and introspection to be fine tuned if we are to have EASE with our movement, culminating in a beautiful, artistic result.  Both endeavors require the awareness of the full body, from toes to crown, and its alignment and interconnectedness.

PRACTICE of what we learn each lesson is essential.  Patience with and acceptance of the level I am at currently, coupled with the passion I hold for both figure skating and playing the violin will see me through the moments of despair that "I'll never get it!!!"  But this also comes with holding onto my dreams, working them, and not comparing myself to those in these two fields that are accomplished at the art of these two very technical endeavors by the time they are 10!!!!

The emotional fall-out from uncovering this structural imbalance was intense, lasted two days and was quite unexpected. I am just now coming out of it.  It IS my emotional indicator system working perfectly, for in uncovering this structural nuance in my right foot, something very deep within my psyche that has brought on this imbalance issue that I was unaware of is uncovered. It's not that I now have to go diving into some unknown childhood issue, as it is about holding the stance to create the balance I am lacking on the ice right here at home in my room.

It's all about CONNECTING all the dots, being willing to see what those connections bring about, and fine tuning the very fibers of my being to bring about ease and balance on the ice and velvety smooth tones as I draw the bow down the strings creating a beautiful tone on my violin.   

At the end of the day, I am in deep appreciation that I have an exquisite violin that was my father's -  a very high quality Stradivarius copy from the 1800's which longs for me to utilize it's buttery sound capability, or my elegant black Harlick Ice Skates, that are the choice of the Olympians.  Appreciation is a welcome partner to the patience and acceptance I am expanding to embrace when it comes to how I feel about my beingness.

Continue on YOUR dreams, my friends, and don't let any limitations keep you from being happy.  Limitations, like all challenges, are tools for our personal expansion and contribution to humanity and the universal source.  We are not alone! 

THE POWER THAT KEEPS ON GIVING

Your Connection to All That Is

 

We are all connected - you've heard it a million times, in quotes with pretty pictures, in songs, in books, on Facebook every day.  The reminder is everywhere, yet most continue to forget this, and the feeling of separateness, being alone, being lonely, being depressed, feeling powerless....permeates.  

 

We are all a mixed bag.  We ARE the bag.  We are everything IN the bag.  It's a bag of tricks, and we are the tricks, some are one trick ponies, but we are the entire herd of ponies.  We are THE SPACE in which this bag EXISTS. We are the creator of the bag itself.  When we forget this and get caught up in the play we've created for our expansion.....we suffer.  The play is sometimes a comedy, a drama, a tragedy, a romance, a mystery, a thriller, an action movie....it's a mixed bag!!!   

 

The power of THE RECONNECTION amazes me every day.  This is not a sales pitch for you to contact me for your RECONNECTION healing session.  Quite frankly, I've been very busy working with animals.  My intention has been focused on the cows lately.  As I pass the cattle drivers with their rigs filled with these animals on the roadways, at first I spontaneously burst out crying.  As an empathic with animals (and trees, and children) - I felt them being hauled to slaughter.  Then I felt really grateful that I don't eat these particular forms of consciousness, thereby not participating in the industry.  I won't go into the details about this industry, let's just leave it with my being grateful. I am not here to preach about diets.

After that initial spontaneous emotional combustion, I realized my medicine was better utilized by focusing my intention on lasering in the reconnection healing to every cow I saw, be they in trucks or pastures.  The power intensified every time I gave it away.  My non-physical friends came through me and told me very powerful stuff, starting with, "if we were in your physical shoes......"  And then my invisible 'friend's'sense of humor kicked in talking about how cool my shoes were.  I was amused and in love at the same time. This felt amazing and refreshing and what I wrote above about the mixed bag  was me being the conduit and receiver.   I was dialed in to the right frequency and received the direction to just be a reconnection conduit at all times to all beings.  The universe will take care of the fee.

 

I felt the three pregnant women I know and experienced some first trimester physical symptoms and felt the power of the womb and the Earth Mother and Divine Mother and the beings they are bringing into physical form.  The hawks and crows soared above at various times today and I felt my ancestors and those that walked on the sacred ground upon which I was now driving.  I felt their spirits in pursuit of their dreams, their pain and anguish and their strength to persevere.  I felt the pioneer women, pregnant on the trail and birthing their babies in the blazing middle of nowhere and having to keep going.

 

They are all still there.  I felt everything.  I became everything, but really, I already AM everything, as are you, and that is how we tap in to their energy fields when we are sensitive to this.  A story came to me fully that wants to be written and it came almost in a flash, the same way I used to write songs....in a flash they would come and I'd capture it with a pen and pad and grab my guitar and it would spring forth.  That's how paintings come through, and stories, and babies.  The comings and goings of spirit in and out of physical form.  It was a very powerful medicine day and I am grateful to have traveled between the worlds with some who are coming and one who left today, one I didn't know personally in this bodily lifetime, but through the medicine family, we are kindred.  I didn't even know she existed until tonight when I saw on Facebook that this woman had passed.  Then I knew in an instant, that she was with me, and she gave me her medicine torch to hold and to share with you all in these words.  She wants those who are sad at her departure to rejoice, for she is rejoicing to be free of her body, which hurt more than she let on, and she is soaring as the eagle medicine woman that she is, light as a feather and powerful as the wind that gives the song to the trees that we hear when we are listening.  Bless your life, each and every one.  Those I know, and those I don't know.....all beings.....for we are all together in that bag of tricks!  HO!