EMPOWERING YOUR CHILDREN

Tools To Give Your Children ~ Part 1

Yellow is the color in the spectrum that equates to wisdom.  Hence, this blog will be written in yellow, as the mind absorbs that which is on yellow paper more readily, or using this color in the spectrum.

As a child, I was what I came to learn, "born awake" - all children are, but most are taught by societal conditioning through parents, teachers, all others to 'forget' this Divine part of ourselves, our psychic connection to the creative Source, stifle the intuitive wisdom that guides us in decisions and away from dangerous situations or people and to not listen to an inner voice or have 'invisible friends' - chalking the latter up to childhood folly.

Remembering more fully the memories I had as a child, I stayed in tune with that part of myself and it was the times I strayed from it I made decisions that did not result in an outcome for my highest good and brought about much suffering.  Bullied as a child for being 'different, smaller than the rest' and ridiculed even by family members, I began the long road of making fun of myself to make others laugh, for that was the only way to get positive attention, which I became subconsciously programmed to believe was 'acceptance' from others, including my parents.

Any time I felt good about myself as a child or young teenager, my parents said I "had a big head" or when asking them if I was pretty, their consistent reply was in an indifferent voice, "ah, you're run of the mill, nothing special."

Armed with this set of factors creating what there was no term for then, but now the term is called, LOW SELF ESTEEM, I made choices from the sub-conscious belief of unworthiness and not deserving success or happiness.

When I became a mother, I decided then and there, from that wee spark of wakefulness and that almost microscopic thread connecting me to my sub-conscious higher self that I would raise my child to feel good about herself and know she was a miracle, an empowered being capable of being or doing anything she set her mind to and wanted.  That decision lead me to the tools I needed myself to live this way and feel this way about myself, because words do not teach as much as living by example teaches.  In other words, I had to become what I wished for my daughter.  This conscious decision lead my sub-conscious to begin attracting the tools for a life of empowerment and oneness with my highest inner self, the ability to listen to my inner voice, how to go about that and trusting my intuition to guide me to make decisions in my best interest.  I knew I needed to give my daughters the tools I wasn't given as a child and to basically give her the messages opposite of what my parents gave me, for I was well aware of the results from the messages I acted out on given me by my parents.  (Starting with not blaming them but knowing that I incarnated to parents who gave the gift of teaching "how not to teach" rather than "how TO teach")  Those are entirely two different gifts which both serve two different purposes.

TOOLS:  learning the subconscious mind is at its most receptive between the worlds of wakefulness and sleep, I would go into my daughters room after they were put to bed and before they would be awakened in the morning and state in a soft voice: "you are a perfect and powerful soul in a human body" ~ "you are connected to the Source of All there is and are protected and safe in this world" ~ "you can be and do anything you set your mind to" ~ "your soft voice within you will always guide you to make the best decision"

MORE TOOLS:  Being a musician since a young girl, I came to learn the power of healing vowels and frequencies.  Initially I was lead to the ashram of Swami Muktananda and learned Sanskrit chants.  I was 'lead to' a book in the library (in the old days before Amazon and the internet) on Mantras and studied the essential wisdom of powerful combinations of ancient Sanskrit.  I began playing these mantras with my guitar every day and at night when my daughters were falling asleep.  My eldest daughter, now sings to her daughters what was her favorite chant I sang to her as a child.  

SPIRITUAL TOOLS:  When my first daughter was young, as many children, she loved to ask questions and many times just chatter to hear herself talk.  I didn't deem this a bad thing, but I did have a practice each day at sunset that it was "quiet time" and a time to "tune in with stillness" - not easy for a child to do, but also not easy for adults to do!!!  I instinctively knew she needed this tool to tune in with nature (what I called the powerful time between the worlds of day and night).  Through this practice, it taught her to tune in with nature and subconsciously, she would tune in with the movement of Creation, which is the changing from day to night, the movement of the earth within the Cosmos.  We started at just two minutes, worked up to five minutes and worked up to fifteen minutes so that it was a pleasant experience and not something she couldn't handle being a rambunctious child.  When administering such a practice, one must take into consideration the nature of the child, they are all different, and the point is to make it fun so they enjoy it and not resist it.  Enjoying something brings it into the sub-conscious, resisting does the opposite.

CHANGING THE FAIRY TALE STORY BOOKS:  Children love to be read those fairy tales.  Using my imagination and will to empower, I'd change the story as I read it.  Being the mother of daughters, I would never let the story be the female in distress waiting for the knight or prince to rescue her and her 'happily ever after' depended on her need for a man to save her.  I also did not portray 'the witch' to be an evil intentioned and ugly old woman in the woods, but a wise woman of power who lived in nature and helped people find their way or assist them on their path, or administer ease through use of herbal infusions that I'd just invent using my intuition when reading.

WHEN BEING A SINGLE MOM, HOW TO DEAL WITH CONSEQUENCES OF A CHILD'S NAUGHTY CHOICES:  Many times as a single mom, my eldest of the two daughters was the most firey and strong willed, and would behave in a manner that needed 'correcting'.  Many times I would be at a loss for how to do this without breaking her spirit.  I would never punish her or spank her out of anger.  If she angered me (which is really pretty natural with us being human) I would sit a moment and breath and call in the Divine, and utter silently yet fervently, "Heavenly Father, please come through me RIGHT NOW to address this issue for the highest good, I don't know how to do this and am an open channel IN THIS INSTANT to receive direction on how to handle this child so she learns the necessary lesson for her highest good"

I did this MANY TIMES throughout my days of single mothering.  Those moments I wished I had a partner/husband/earthly father to partner up with and make those decisions, feeling utterly alone for a few moments, I would then say the above and felt it with all my heart.  I came to feel that I was raising the girls with the Heavenly father as the earthly ones abandoned us.  I am not a religious person thinking of an old man with a beard who directed the workings of earth from a cloud in the sky, but called in the Divine Masculine to work with me, The Divine Feminine to balance the polarities, the yin/yang and "assist me" and work "through me".  It ALWAYS DID and would assist me with the next tool I am about to share.

WHEN THE CHILD OF A SINGLE MOTHER CRIES FOR THE EARTHLY FATHER THAT NEVER SHOWED UP:  I was married to my first daughters dad, but he chose drugs over us, and for our well being, I had to leave that marriage when my daughter was 18 months old.  As he sold off and hocked everything, I left walking, holding the baby, a guitar and a suitcase with no where to really go.  That said, over the years both my daughters had bouts of crying on their birthdays and other days stating, "why doesn't my daddy want to know me?"  This of course broke my heart in two, hearing not only their distress, but knowing they were forming opinions and beliefs of themselves as not being worthy of having a dad and that something was wrong with THEM as to why their fathers did not choose to be in their lives.  Again, I called forth Divine wisdom and intentionally opened myself as a conduit "in this moment" to channel the best response for their highest good.  The response came as follows:  "Your earthly father is a human, and as a human, choices that are mistakes can be made.  Your earthly father is under the influence of making such a mistaken choice.  But this choice gives us the gift of knowing our Heavenly Father, who is ALWAYS with us and who guides us to make the best choices, teaches us that we are powerful and beautiful children.  Although we cannot SEE this Heavenly Father, we can FEEL Him and know He will never leave us and we can always call on Him to guide us."  Sometimes I would continue, "If your earthly father knew you, he would want to be here with you, but his life choices as a human father have mistakenly lead him away from us" (I always said "us" not "you" so the child would not take it all upon herself in her psyche).  I have had to say this on many birthdays and other occasions and had to myself trust that this explanation I received as an intentional open conduit, was for their highest good to assist with pending abandonment/daddy issues.

I will close for now on the tools I have given my daughters so this blog entry isn't too long.  For the tools I give my grandchildren, I will write another blog, for they have a whole other set of life circumstances that include their parents getting divorces and being negatively programmed by fathers that are in their lives.  I must say that the tools/lessons/examples I've had to teach have been even more complex than what I have had to deal with in my mothering years of two young daughters.  There are more tools I have utilized, and after being asked about this by my Soul Sisters, I will create a Part 2 as memory of these tools are surfacing, and more will be coming in to share with you.  Thank you to all my Soul Sisters who have asked about this, giving me the opportunity to share vital wisdom that channeled through me as a conduit for Divine Wisdom. 

I do want to add one other important tool:

HEALTHY LIFESTYLE:  I discovered organic, natural foods in 1978 when my youngest was 2.  Back then, natural foods were not packaged or in abundance and took more work to prepare and even then were a more expensive food source than commercially manufactured 'crap' that I inherently knew was not 'nourishing food'.  I saw how children were mesmerized by packaging and commercials on TV to make them want that stuff.  Hence, we didn't watch TV (only Sesame Street & Mr. Rogers) and I worked and shopped exclusively at a small natural foods co-op in Tempe Arizona to get "food at cost" and develop a pallet in the child to like naturally flavored foods instead of becoming addicted to artificial flavors and sugar.  THIS IS KEY to start them out young.

I knew the first 7 years of life were the key years 'for programming' and after that, one would have to live with what they have put in to that child's psyche during those crucial years.

Introduction to the book: The Che Diaries by Ave Guevara

Dream Chasing After the Kids Are Grown

When youth is behind us, it may seem like we're "too old" to start new things.  At least that's the age-old belief system that's imposed on us.  It's our choice to believe in that limiting belief and accept the regrets that come with it.  As a younger woman, I refused to live by those limitations, yet am currently working with a tsunami of limitations that have recently crashed in on me. The phase of multiple limitations in the forms of severe depression, grief and despair due to major hand surgeries and head injuries, limiting my abilities to be self sufficient after a car crash initiated the first wave of despair and depression years ago.  For a time, I was able to overcome the despair, but it returned recently.  These limitations came later in life, and despite my rough beginnings as a young adult being a single mom, I taught my children to discover & follow their passion and live a life with zest and enthusiasm that brings joy, not guilt.  I specifically raised my girls to be empowered women, as my parents passed onto me their zero self esteem. To be the best parent possible I had to create a good self image and feeling of empowerment for myself so I could be an example for my daughters.  I didn't want them to suffer as I did from this, so I had to become empowered and confident despite interior and exterior obstacles, as one only teaches by example.

This leads me to the childhood dream being awakened within to figure skate.  At 59 I ordered my beautiful Harlick skates, began lessons and the "Coffee Club" skating group.  After my initial enthusiasm got me going, I had to have two more corrective hand surgeries keeping me off ice for 9 months, my close friend commit suicide right before that, so my momentum to skate slid into a pit of despair, depression, grief and now having to allow the time for my hands to heal.  The grief was not just the way my friend chose to die, but also for the loss of my enthusiasm to skate and loss of my zest for life.  Grief is the emotional and physical reaction to any big change or perceived loss. That zest for life always got me through exterior challenges and obstacles.  Recently, my best friend of 30 years just died of cancer at only 54, and another wave of grief sunk me into having no energy to get to the rink, I couldn't even walk my dog!

Only this week has my desire to LIVE rather than be like the walking dead enable me to get myself to the rink, walk my dog and feel somewhat ALIVE again! Enlisting the help of professionals I spoke to grief counselors as well as my doctor, so strong was my desire to work with this tsunami of despair and not let it sink me, for truly, my ship was sinking.  The feeling of tiring of the weight and darkness of despair, grief inducing emotions and all that it triggers within one's core, outweighed the despair and depression itself. 

The women of the "Coffee Club" at the rink are ever supportive and encouraging of me, never judgmental that I hadn't been consistent in skating as they saw my zest to skate disappear and I didn't skate for long periods of time.  Returning to the ice was more frustration than fun and I felt like an "eternal beginner".  More huge life lessons here, "allowing myself to have fun rather than be driven to accomplish, accept where I am in the present moment and be patient with my process."  In other words, CUT MYSELF SOME SLACK!

Allowing oneself to live what one has always dreamed of doing, be it figure skating, playing an instrument, writing a book, becoming a doctor, painter or ANYTHING.....after the children are raised, one is at that door of deciding to "feel like it's too late" or "it's now or never" - and do I want to live with regrets of not having given my dreams a chance to become my reality?  My desire to not have regrets has now outweighed my depression and grief.  Not out of the dark woods of that grieving phase after the death of a lifelong friend, at least now I get more glimpses of light through the darkness than the previous immersion in the darkness that was my reality. When I got to the point of preferring to die than to live, the turning point came.  Suicide was not an option, not a curse I would leave as the legacy to my children and grandchildren, but I didn't want to live either, so I sought help.  

I didn't have supportive partners, husbands or parents, but when I go within and attune with my heart and spirit, there lies the encouragement of the Divine Source that connects us all....and the wonderful friends that are in the "Coffee Club" skating group!  Just yesterday, one friend there told me about Connie Curry, so I post below, her story.

https://www.growingbolder.com/connie-curry-3047908/

Quote from former Imperator of the Rosicrucian Order

"True humility is not a sign of passivity. It is not a submission to the forces that oppose the essential needs of life, of self. Neither is humility an indication of personal weakness. The humble person realizes that there is no singleness to life. We are not isolated beings any more than a healthy cell is in a multicellular organism. Intelligent restraint so evident in humbleness is recognition of that Greater Self that must be served. 

This Greater Self is not an abstract, esoteric concept, or, a mere ideal. If humanity is a living social organism, then each human is a cell in that organism, the Greater Self. 

Aggression exercised solely for the needs of the Individual Self is a malignancy that can destroy the totality upon which all humanity depends. No aggression can advance us so far personally that we no longer need that sympathy and compassion which humility engenders." 

Ralph M. Lewis

Hallelujah - Figure Skating at its FINEST!

How beautiful is THIS?!!!

WHAT ARE YOU TEACHING?

The Blessings of Choice

Taking responsibility for one's own life and consequences of one's own actions without blaming or judging others or oneself is probably the most difficult of paths to walk in the human experience.

I am not holier than thou, or better than anyone else. I have simply chosen to take responsibility for the events that occurred in my life from my choices. Many choices were made in youth that had a rippling effect over my entire life. Some choices and effects of my 'filter system of perception' are actually handed down in the DNA & aren't mine at all, yet I house them and before having awareness of this phenomenon, thought it was "all me" - I still take responsibility for perceptions/actions/choices that are from the cellular level, aka "inherited" as this is another form of expansion of what is bigger than each of us individually, and is rather for the expansion of the collective of humanity, of which we are all part and all one within.

Hence, those that choose to live lives blaming everyone, everything for their dis-ease of free will misuse, I do not judge, but am here to tell you - maybe you should try something different, for after all, how's that working out for you? How's that working out for your children? Is your life filled with joy and are you teaching the higher road available to all humans through your example, or are you beating the ever tiresome drum of "how not to be" by your example and leaving a path of emotional destruction to yourself and others?

With so much information available, so many modalities of healing, so many avenues of wisdom at our fingertips, all it takes is a choice to refine your trajectory.

My father called me a "tramp" when I was still a virgin.
My mother hated all her children when they reached puberty, before that she was a doting, attentive and incredibly loving mother.
Both my children's fathers abandoned their children, one because he chose his addiction over family, the other because he and his family chose ego and blame over responsibility. This turned out to be a blessing, for to have had either of them in my life would have added conflict.

I got to make the choice to raise my daughters with the power of prayer, the knowledge of being part of a Divine creation that was bigger than an individual, organic foods, self-empowerment and being true to oneself. To not judge and to look for the cloud's silver lining, even if it DID mean comparing ourselves to people in war torn countries, for there were some mornings I had to count the blessing to my children that "at least no one is shooting at us" - so take heed, dear ones.....LIFE IS SHORT.

What are you teaching by the way that you are being? Are you being the reflection of the Divine force that is the creator of all there is? If not, it's not too late to start. Yogananda said, "as long as there is breath in the body, there is hope for enlightenment" - or something like that. One does not have to "attain enlightenment" in the yogic sense to be a good example to their children.

Are you teaching harmony and the power within or are you teaching what life is like when you choose discord, disharmony, dis-ease, dis-loyalty and dis-regard for other life forms?
Blessings on your trajectory, and prayers for your choice to experience the higher road.

A'ho

SKATING & THE ART OF PROCRASTINATION

To Skate or NOT to Skate
Or, to do anything at all or nothing at all, for however long one can get away with it.

Why do today what you can put off until the last possible moment?

Is committing to some goal and working at it one step at a time a better feeling than thinking about it, not doing it at all, putting it off??....the end of the day still comes around. 

Filing an extension on taxes that are really simple and not complicated, just because it wasn't 'gotten around to' and then waiting until two days before the extension runs out to get the money's worth out of said extension.....an ultimate procrastination mindset.

Buying all the best gear, signing up for lessons, courses, workshops, seminars....taking those lessons, courses, etc.....and then just stopping the whole process....over & over & over.

I don't feel the need to "have to admit to doing all the above" - not spilling my guts here to feel better about myself.  HOWEVER....a year has come and gone.  At the years' beginning, I had so much umph, so much drive, such amazing goals/dreams and chutzpah for skating/photography/recording music/revising my book/upgrading my website....(different years, different projects, but it's all the same, really) - and the Art of Procrastination seemed to have gotten really sharpened, utilizing events in my life to give me great excuses to lose momentum with all the above inspired activities.

The year passed.  I could have ....  oops...not gonna do the woullda/couldda/shudda thing.... because that's part of the Art of Procrastination....the reprimanding or beating up of oneself for the practice and perfecting of procrastination.

SO HOW DO WE WORK WITH THIS????????????
No one could start out on any project with more excitement and energy than me.  I know this to be a fact.  I'm like the fastest racehorse out of the gate, the one the teacher/coach/etc. sees to have 'great promise' - and I run the fastest on the track.  In the homestretch, the racehorse (me) just stops when she was clearly in position for 'the win' (the win not meaning to beat anyone else, but to simply continue to the finish, or the next step) - JUST STOPPED.

There is momentum in JUST STOPPING.  How ironic is that?????  What a helluva thing to have momentum in....in stopping.  Quitting?  I've never called it quitting, because I haven't considered myself quitting any of these activities.  I did finish the book.  I did finish writing/producing/recording the CD - and it is beautiful.  I got them all onto the website.  I took a course in promoting all of it.  That's when I stopped.  The marketing of the arts felt like the same old thing.  I did embrace marketing of it initially, but lost interest in taking it to the next level, as it seemed to be 'a formula' that 'everyone had to do in order to be a success' - so I chose to put down that drive to be a "success".  Why?  What IS success anyway?

Had I skated as much as I could this past year, I would have learned some fun stuff....I love my ladies at the Coffee Club - they are so inspiring.  I've watched a few 'beginners' who started out sort of like me and are now doing really cool stuff and I can still barely go from one direction to the other or do crossovers in reverse.  I still feel like a scared dork on the ice to be perfectly honest.

OK, this blog is getting pretty long.  I just wanted to share with you something that probably a lot of people are living with and not sharing with everyone.  After all, there's so many good procrastination jokes that it makes it less painful and actually funny to relate to it.  But honestly, I'm actually sick of it right now.  I refuse, however, to pay money on a course to beat procrastination, I have to let it 'run it's course - accept this - and it will transform more quickly.  Life was much more fun when I had consistent UMPH and got that album FINISHED, sat with my book & got it revised in two nights.  Kept at it.  Enjoyed the momentum.

OK, so this may seem like a pointless post, but it was inspired by reading my figure skating friend who HAS stuck with it and can now do spins, now do those fancy named maneuvers that I've spent the year dreaming about instead of working on on the actual ice.  So thank you, Christine, for inspiring me in some way....just by your being-ness, your grace, your consistence and perseverance.  You are a beautiful skater with an even more beautiful spirit!